add_actions called from functions.php not returning good values

I am trying to add some security/acccess prevention to my site via the functions.php. However whenever I try to add through functions.php (instead of as a plugin, which I’ve done in the past) it fails (always returns false). For example:

add_action("parse_query", checkaccess());  // in functions.php

and

function checkaccess() {
    $allowAccess = false;

    if(is_admin()||is_front_page()||is_home()||current_user_can('administrator'))
        $allowAccess=true;

    if($allowAccess)
        echo 'whatup'; //do something here

}

even if i try something basic – eg global $wp_query; var_dump($wp_query); I can’t get the query var, its all NULL. Any advice? Is there some kind of walled sandbox the fuctions.php file operates from that it can’t get any of these?